2009

she has what you need

my grandmother and her sisters

I love everything about this photo.

comfort is the sound of a good friend typing

cigarettes

this is a pretty accurate representation of what smoking cigarettes is like.

weird whales

sometimes my mind cracks open and whales come out

winter nights

oh for the love of mike

do you ever feel like this?


horror movie poster motif to think about: your skin does not have the kind of integrity you think it does

to-do this weekend

re-create this image:

with this guy:


I like when winter starts getting serious and the fact that I never want to leave the house makes me do horribly goofy things.

UPDATE: cat did not cooperate

what about christmas!

Are you wondering what you should get me? Here are some ideas:



You're probably thinking, "nobody wants that", but you don't see it like I do.

how do you buy art when it's reverse graffiti on the back of a truck?

suri

soundtrack to a strong nap

I am sick like wow. Reverting to a primal infantile mental state, I will murder anyone who tries to interfere with my napping. I made a soundtrack to my muggy sick dreams so we can all nap together. I am hanging up an art show this weekend. This painting of Suri Cruise won't get finished. I kind of want to burn everything in an epic personal fire, including my own face. But it's beautiful outside, heavy clouds and the air smells like nutmeg.

Do yourself a favor and read this:
you don't want to go in there

I need some numbers real bad, but I can't tell you which ones

I wish they still made this shampoo

free greeting card for the holidays

That was the meanest thing I could think of to put on a greeting card. Please feel free to print it out and give it to your co-worker who under-handedly makes you feel fat or whatever.

unknown structures

I was reading this article about dark flow and got a corresponding dark feeling in my guts. Then I read this article about male breastfeeding and had an entirely different kind of dark feeling. Last night I did this drawing:


to try and explain another kind of dark feeling I get that is triggered by certain things I see on television that fall into a really specific category of being so mindless that they enrage me, but too are banal for me to find hilarious. This category includes:
Jennifer Aniston's face, and the fact that she is famous
The "Fashion Police" section of US Weekly
The song "Lady in Red"
Diaper commercials
Also commercials that involve women sitting around on patios talking about things I would literally rather die than care about, like yogurt or candles.

There is a such a fine line between these things and other things that have the tiniest surplus of absurdity that tip the scale towards beauty:

in your soup

Why am I blogging about Halloween right now? Because if I don't, I'll puke. This morning, my friend Joe very aptly compared the obsessive news-checking we are sure to indulge in later as shaking a pregnancy test in order to make the lines show up faster. Here's hoping you guys have all peed on your sticks (???)

Anyway, here's my friend Derek as a giant box of Count Chocula:

Which is incidentally the most genius costume I have ever witnessed in my history of Halloweens, both in concept and execution, and I am not saying that just because he's my friend. One of the best parts was seeing little kids react to it.

My favorite reaction was this little girl who yelled (obviously having never been allowed sugar cereal), "It's Count Dracula...IN YOUR SOUP!!!"

See, my friends and I went trick-or-treating with this kid we know, which is, I discovered, one of the most fun things you can do in this life. Especially in a neighborhood where the residents make a real solid effort. Totally my best childhood Halloween memories incarnated. Also, he shared his candy with me.







Melissa was an owl, "dressed for success":

Here's me as the Log Lady, fleeing from some ghouls:

Also: I saw a full-sized golden retriever dressed as a hot dog. Imagine that!

costume idea (for you, not for me. I have a costume already)

the true story of Halloween

Halloween is a special day of the year when I freak the fuck out.
Here are some pictures of ghosts I found on the internet: