re: my guts

they are tightly coiled, neon, sparking, they are gold-plated bricks of inconvenient feelings. they are fifteen years old, they are exploding.

the carnage!! god, it's so gross.

the unicorn disapproves

the gathering

fruit party

I found this pic by googling "what girls actually do when they are alone together".

that's the most important piece of evidence we've seen yet

confession time

Last night I got drunk and told a girl her cigarette lighter looked like a feminine hygiene product. This is made worse for the fact that it was a response to the statement "look at my cool new cigarette lighter". Then I went home and scarfed cookies while watching Trinity Broadcast Network, where I discovered that they have their own Jesus-centered version of American Gladiators called Team Impact where the muscle people break huge blocks of ice with karate chops in between mini-sermons. I screamed and probably got crumbs everywhere.
P.S According to wikipedia the first record of the word "boredom" is in the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens.

these dudes

they've been sitting outside my office window for days, staring at me.

Robin's attitude problem

miss hilton has ruined the wallpaper in the luxury suite

emblem

This was on someone's grave (?) at the mausoleum. Many people buried (?) there have weird symbols like this above their names. The Freemason and Daughters of the American Revolution ones are easy to figure out, but so many of them are a mystery to me. I guess it isn't normal to join weird societies anymore - you mostly see these on the graves of people who were alive in the first half of the 20th century. I wonder why we stopped doing that. I'm guessing it's the baby boomers' fault. I wish I knew what this one meant. More to the point, I wish there was a search engine where you could upload images of anything - bugs, symbols, flags, minerals, and it would tell you what it was. How useful and terrifying would that be?

I'd like a knob creek, with hairy ice please.

how to use a neti pot

This is Marbles' older sister, although she vehemently denies that they're related. I don't know, maybe they aren't. But they go to the same hairdresser.

marbles

I love movies, and hot dogs, so I think Marbles and I could definitely be friends.

another muxtape

this one has emotional problems.

oh no wait, that's me. n/m

.....
p.s. j/k

alfred hitchcock presents

and some sofas as well

this chair: give it to me, now

a real prize

I just got this from ebay. It needed some repairs, so I took it to Rich's Cigar Store and a really nice young man fixed it right there on the spot, for free. I was extremely grateful.

two quotations

"I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!"

- from "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll

"This is the most sentimental of all Gerry Rafferty's songs. It is about a man who dreams of owning a house and living away from his neighborhood, but he is a drunk, and cannot achieve that goal. He drinks to forget what he doesn't have, and never realizes he's a rolling stone with no direction."

from Songfacts.com regarding Gerry Rafferty's 1978 hit, "Baker Street"

muxtape